Is that a girl or a boy? And you smile because today maybe you might just pass. But then you see their eyes register no facial hair, no knot in your throat, no bulge in your pants. They say it again, louder, tauntingly.
Is that a girl or a boy.This time they know the answer and they just want to see you squirm.
And you do.
And they snicker.
“IT” performed by Kavindu “Kavi” Ade.
There are no words for the emotions that this video causes.
All I have to say is wow.
Holy Shit… Just WOW 🙌
My heart melts for this
Made me cry, had to actually walk out of a room full of people and listen to it 3 times lying in my bed… This is beautiful, and tragic and perfectly damaging.
I am not perfect. I am not the best person, or friend or son or brother. I make mistakes and I let people down. But that doesn’t matter because when I die people won’t remember that one fight we had about that stupid thing, hopefully they will remember that time I drove 6 hours to save them in a snow storm, or when I stayed up all night to hold their hair while they were sick. Hopefully they’ll remember what a good father I was or that everyday I tried my best to be better. That’s the kind if man I am.
I’m watching “Boys Don’t Cry” surrounded by a group of my closest friends and even with a Transman on the tv and accepting people all around me, I feel emasculated and weak… This movie gets me every time.
Big bird, transgender?! Never saw that coming!
There something about wearing boxers and nothing else. Make me feel complete, makes me feel like a man. Being shirtless, seeing my bare chest, it’s one of my biggest accomplishments and it feels just as incredible every time I take my shit off!
So few know what it’s like to lie awake on a surgical table and have their flesh cut away. So few would actually view this as a fond memory.
I know what it’s like watch a surgeon make an incision in my chest and wipe the blood away from my body. I’ve longed to feel this again for quite sometime. Don’t get me wrong, surgery terrifies me but when you know you have multiple surgeries left in your life, you teach yourself to look forward to them, to associate the feeling when you awake and things are better to the actual feeling of having the surgery all together.
I need to keep moving, I need to pick my next play and start making it happen. The truth is I’m afraid. But I am also unafraid. I have faced more than is imaginable with 4 surgeries behind me, all I have to do is keep moving forward.
I am not a lesbian.
When I kiss the woman I love on a street corner, people don’t stare. My exterior with your exterior is unlikely to cause commotion.
But then I speak,
and you speak
and our common message begins to attract a layer of uncomfortable audience members.
Our appearance is deceiving but our power, is incredible. We prove every moment of every day just how pride works and how equality is not visual. Our orientation does not decide the person we love, the person we love decides our orientation.
As simple as that, two people who come together for one common cause.
One simple change, one shift in the universe and suddenly you are redefined.
I WILL NOT DEFINE YOU.
Your label, your cover, your stance is solid. It has never and will never waver.
My label, my cover, my stance is solid. It is through wavering. I will stand my ground.
I am not a lesbian.
When I hold the hand of the woman I love, no one questions my heart or my intent.
Surly a young man about my age would be foolish not to court a young woman about yours.
Socially, I am invisible.
I at moments am only a man in a suit.
But then I stand on my soap box, I reach for my megaphone, I create a crowd, and I change the world.
Not something just any man in a suit could do.
When I speak, people listen.
You and I are both searching. Searching for diversity, for change, for love. We envision a path in which these things are possible and we move forward. But things change. I changed. You are constantly changing.
Our rate for self discovery is different but our destination is simply the same. To be the person we one day hope to be.
That is not simply an idea behind a certain life style, that is a path that a wise person chooses. That a good person chooses. We look in the mirror, we look in our self and we say, “I want to be better, I want to be different”. And then we spend our lives fighting to ensure that we are.
My path is not simple. My life isn’t easy. But I am wise enough and strong enough to accept that neither is yours.
What one person views as easy is capable of destroying another persons life. The scenario is completely objective. Our love is completely objective.
Change is not objective.
Change is the one thing that is inevitable.
Let’s talk about sex… how does your transition effect your sex life?
10 years ago all I knew was that something was wrong, that I wasn’t happy, and I didn’t want to live anymore.
6 years ago when I started this thing, all I knew was that I wanted to be a man. I didn’t care how I got there.
5 years ago when I started hormones I didn’t know how my body would change, I just couldn’t wait to see.
4 years ago when I underwent a subcutaneous double mastectomy, I just knew that those breasts didn’t belong on my body.
3 years ago, I put myself through a body sculpting surgery that I hoped would mend the pieces that were still broken.
2 years ago I started to create the parts of the man, that you can’t see, I tried to become better.
Last year, I started building, exercising, toning. Using the body I created.
Today, the man I see in the mirror and the man you see out in the world, is a man I am proud of, and one I am really grateful for. A MAN WITH NO REGRETS.